PURPOSE & SURRENDER

Some of you have been with me since the beginning--when I first was quitting plastics a million years ago, sharing the hilarious mistakes & learnings, earnest eager campaigns to ban plastics & aggressive schemes to take down corporations, and a gradual shifting towards individual behavior change & embracing this public role of sharing how I live earth-centric in my private life. Some are new here, & it is my ego's attachment to my identity as a warrioress that is triggered by my pause on big global plastic campaigning. Feeling like I need to apologise for my lack of action. Feeling like I need to explain why. Questioning in quiet moments, who am I without my achievements, who am I without my campaigning, what is my worth? Am I deserving of this magical life if I am not suffering, fighting, full power aligned with my clear mission to serve.
So who am I in this pause?

Many of you know or have sensed that this year I have PAUSED to heal. <3 My heart broke when my mother died. My heart didn't know where to put all of it's love. I ascended many levels those next years as my spirit expanded & took up more space in this universe, in this world. The love in my being & in my heart no longer bound to my mother, a person, a physcial form, it expanded to deeply know ONENESS. UNITY. My awareness & consciousness merged with the energy of all life, of Earth, of nature. I was one, & I felt violated by pollution, & so I stepped into my WARRIORESS. I rose with the vast infinite power of the ocean pumping embodied blood to defend. My spirit, my heart, my purpose was born of my mother's LOVE & of her DEATH.

This year of pause was forced on many of us. For me, I have welcomed this pause, welcoming the energetic blocks to fighting plastics, I have embraced this breath to allow healing, remembering, opening.

I didn't choose mermaid life. This path 100% chose me. I was willing. I surrendered to this path. There was no other path. This was the only way for me. I committed to serving Mother Earth. I was a pure channel. No bullshit could survive in the face of this pure commitment, this purpose shining so clear, so bright. Battling not for my self, my ego, my gain--always for the collective. Always for her. for the interconnected eco systems. Battling for peace, love, clarity, connection, beauty, breath, bliss!

I battled with a broken heart. Raw bleeding heart. My back strong because I am vibrant, healthy, of the Earth, of the magic wonder mystery & awe. Made from magic. Made FOR magic. My battle not with humans. I didn't even feel very connected to humans. I felt so committed & on purpose. My battle is with taming the darkness. My battle is cultivating the light. My purpose is at the cauldron stirring up light work & magic that would help people FEEL. Feel joy, breath, connection. My spells were cast with sparkling white light. Healing, playing, even performing. Blasting the sticky, dark, trudgy energy away, so that we are safe to slide on space rainbows & dance in the sparkling seas.

AND I am in a new surrender. This year has been about holding my feminine. Allowing her to sit back & receive. Allowing her to soften. To be vulnerable. To hold that bleeding heart & honour that pain for the Earth, to hold that darkness, to welcome in beauty, love, connection, & be vulnerable in the darkness, despite the darkness, because the darkness.

I am not here to DO right now.
I am here to BE.
I am practicing 'being' so many things. Being free, being vulnerable, being love, being loved, being joy, being play, being strong, being soft.
I have done a lot. And it is imperative for all of us, especially us with deep commitment to our purpose, us with deep unwavering unquestioning 'nothing can get in the way' purpose--that we pause. To simply BE. To rest, regenerate, and RECEIVE.

This being. this LIGHT we cultivate in the feminine energy. THIS is the potent foundation of pure magic that universes are born of.

If you feel called to fight. FIGHT. If you feel called to rest, make a wildly lush nest & cocoon in, Queen. It's a journey & we require mastering both masculine & feminine powers to transcend the maya aka the cosmic illusion that the phenomenal world is real.